My darling child,
I hesitate to even write this part of Your Story because I want to protect you from knowing that there are people out there who don't understand our family. I wish I didn't have to warn you that you may come across people who will think hateful thoughts or use harmful words in order to make you feel inferior. I wish I didn't have to teach you that there will be people in this world who tell you that you cannot, even though you can. I wish that the 'bad guys' didn't exist and that you never come across one, but they do and you probably will, especially as the world gets closer and closer to realizing equality.
Sometimes though, the bad guys creating adversity is what makes the 'Happily Ever After' that much sweeter. Think about it - what would 101 Dalmations have been without a Cruella De Vil? Batman without a Joker? Peter Pan without a Captain Hook? Harry Potter without a Lord Voldemort? Your Story is entirely too great to not have come across a bad guy or two along the way.
After your Daddy and I emailed three different IVF doctors about setting up a consultation to discuss conceiving you through an Egg Donor and Gestational Surrogate, we grew more excited with each passing moment. We were finally embarking on the adventure that would lead to you. We still had no real idea of what lay ahead, but we knew we were already closer than we'd ever been.
We finally heard back from two of the doctors we emailed, and it was not good news. I didn't save the emails, though I now wish I had, but they both looked very similar to this.
Dear Mr. And Mr. Deriso,
Thank you for inquiring about our services. We regret to inform you that the arrangement you seek is not allowed by the state of Texas and cannot be performed by a licensed physician. Have a nice day.
Sincerely,
The Bad Guys
To say that we were crushed would be an understatement. I don't think I'll ever forget that afternoon or that feeling of devastation for as I long as I live. Nowhere had we read that gestational surrogacy was not allowed in Texas or that gay couples were barred from using it as a means to start a family. Then again, we'd also never found a single story showing this *was* a possibility so it was entirely possible that I was wrong. Your Daddy and I sat on opposite ends of the couch and for the first time, said out loud one of our biggest fears. What if we never get to be parents?
The rest of that day was a quiet one. Every now and then, one of us would half heartedly suggest researching other options such as going to another state, but we both knew that our financial barriers could never allow it. We went to bed that night with heavy hearts, missing someone we had never even met.
When we woke the next day, we saw that we had finally heard from the third doctor. To our great surprise and confusion, he said he'd be happy to work with us and to call his office for a consult. But I thought this wasn't allowed in Texas? I decided to stop taking someone's word for it and do more research for myself. So your Pappy did what he does best - he Googled it.
It turned out that we had been lied to. Whether it was simply a case of misinformation or discrimination, we'll never really know, but I suspect it was the latter. I highly doubt that someone with enough intelligence to obtain a medical license and perform skilled operations was simply ignorant to the laws that are directed at their profession.
Having beaten our first bad guy and booked our first consultation, your Daddy and I were back on our journey. We were cautiously optimistic, but more determined than ever to bring you home.
We love you to the Moon and back,
Pappy and Daddy
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