You Don't Have A 'Mom'

My Darling Child,

I'm sure you've figured this out already, but you don't have a mom. There are some people in this world who will tell you that's a bad thing, but don't you pay them any mind. They just don't know any better. They've never had the chance or took the chance to love someone who is different than them to learn that the word mom is really nothing more than a name that a child calls their female parent. What they're really saying is every child needs a parent that will nurture them, cook them dinner, teach them manners, make them clean their room, do their laundry, kiss their boo boos, all the stereotypically 'mom' stuff. And you know what? I totally agree. Every child should have at least one parent who will do all these things and more for them.

Your parents just happen to be a Daddy and a Pappy, two men who love you more than we probably can even understand at this point in time and just as much as any other parent loves their child. And while we won't be perfect, I can promise you that we will be the best parents we know how to be. And all that 'mom' stuff? We've got that covered too. I can cook better than most women I know and your Daddy has been on me about cleaning our room for as long as I can remember so he's got plenty of practice. As for nurturing - you may just be begging for any other parents before we're done with you.

The best part, however, is for the one of the first times in history, Texas agrees with me.

You see, Texas law is kind of funny. It states that in order to use a gestational carrier to bring your child into the world, you must A) have a written letter from a doctor proving your infertility and B) be a married couple. Since neither of these statements are true for you parents in the eyes of Texas, we initially thought we would have a much harder time becoming parents because doing so involves taking the long way around. What typically happens is once a gestational carrier gives birth, she signs her rights to the child away to one of the parents, even though she has never had any rights to it in the first place because there is no biological connection. Then, the other parent begins the long road of a second parent adoption. There are a number of places that this can go wrong along the way, and it leaves the family open to a mountain of potential problems in the event something goes wrong before it is all complete. If the child were to get sick, the not legal parent cannot use their health insurance or be considered family at the hospital. If the non legal parent were to die, then the child would not be eligible for the government benefits that they should be entitled to. If the couple was to break up, then the non legal parent would have no legal rights to their child. The list goes on and on.

Do you remember when I started Your Story and I told you that the story of how you came to be was so special and unique that it needed to be shared so that others could see the possibilities and hold onto hope? My, how prophetic those words have come to be.

On November 12th, 2014, when you weren't even halfway cooked in your Aunt Tiffany's tummy, you made history. Our lawyer presented our case to a Texas judge who recognized our marriage from another state and ordered that on the day you are born, that you will indeed have two parents with full rights and responsibilities. You are one of the first children that this has ever happened to in Texas. Unfortunately, the ruling only applies to our family in this one case, but you have paved a route for other families in our state to gain legal protection and peace of mind.

You're already making me proud, kiddo.

We love you to the Moon and back,
Pappy and Daddy